i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize