I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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