my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
