I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
