I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
