NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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