He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
