Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
