Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Randomize
