WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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