I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
