Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
