Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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