so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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