I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
