And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize