its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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