Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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