No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
