Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't deserve a penis
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
