is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
