Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
