I think im going to throw up on grandma
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
