You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude i'm inner monologue high
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
