you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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