My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
