It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
