In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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