Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So vagazzling was a success
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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