I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
do herpes really smell.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
