New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
and i looked up. we had an audience...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
