I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Randomize
