that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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