i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
