Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
