Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We have so much sex to catch up on
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
