If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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