Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize