He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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