we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
