It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
