i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize