She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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