Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
