I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
