tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Can I color on your dick again?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
