my mouth tastes like poor choices
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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