Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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