ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
