just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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