my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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