I wannas sexs uuuuu
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
