She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
