can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
