I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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