Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
