This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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