oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize