Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
