It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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